first week of school.

eh it was pretty good-ish.[x i found out that i have a

1. a perverted english teacher.
2. a SUCKIE math teacher -.-
3. a Mrs.Wycoff history teacher. -.-
4. a French teacher that has the DEEPEST accent ever.
5. a scary ass science teacher.

school is pretty dull. nothing really exciting. and sheeit. it just fells like last year just in a different school. i can already see the changes in some of my friends. and i dont like it. -.- eventually my theory is that once you change, we will never go back to the same. and its happening already even if you dont think that it is. the only thing that makes me go to school now is him.<3[; clearly i didnt listen to what people said. and i hope that he can prove them right. but whats life if you can get chances right ?
oh. and NOVEMBER11. new phone ! <3[;>

Sincerely,
Saxxie Tran.

you wonder why ?

everything goes GREAT. until out of nowhere you burst out and angermood. i mean wtf. then you start wondering these things. well or should i say have been. and i hope that this answers all your questions.


you wonder why i want a boyfriend ?
" its because hes the only person that makes me fell wanted & love. you said yourself you hate our guts and you dont want us. so why do i need to be hated ? and hes someone i can talk to and tell all my stuff too and hell love me no matter what. i know you say who needs it now. none really needs it now. in my case i do. i fell unwanted here. thats why i have one. and thats why ive been getting ones since i can remember. answer your question ? "

you wonder why i dont respect you ?
" how can i respect someone who doesnt respect themself ? you think you do good, but really its bad. i lost my respect for you when i was 11 and i dont think id ever respect you that mucho. you disapoint me. you cheat, you lie, you do all this sheit. and you think you can hide it ?! fact : no matter what i find things out some way or another. who says " fuck you, i hate you " to there own face !? i know you. so stop trying to say i have no respect, because i do just not towards you. does that clear things up ? "

you wonder why i talk so mucho on the phone ?
" its to get away from the chatting i have to do with you. i want to talk to someone who cares what im saying and doesnt hate my guts. i want to talk to some one who will listen and make me not fell like a loner. sure its fine to talk to you, but not all the time. id rather be talking to other people let alone you. does that answer why i always want the phone ? "


you wonder why im the "worst one" ?
" its because ive been trying so hard to be the best i can. every little mistake i do, you take it in to a big deal. im not the worst one. you kidding me. open your eyes and see what other people are. dont focus your attention on me. i dont want it. you both pointed at me when we were talking about beening a bad child, what have i done thats so wrong ? get good grades ? havent got in any big trouble ? trying to help you when your old ? i mean listen to me and youll find out things. does that clear my name as the worst one ? "

you wonder why i can act so good ?
" its because ive been doing it my whole life. being someone im not. i act different to you than how i really am. i hide things from you, that eats me up from the inside out. so whats the difference if i act like something im not, thats actors. now you know why i want to be one so bad. its easy. and everyday you make me act more and more like i want to be with you. like i care. like i want to be here. understand why now ? "

you wonder why we have so many problems ?
" its you. your the cause of it all. maybe here and there its because im being a bad person. but still. everynight since i was what 7, i wish that one day we can be one. and i wont have to see him on weekends. and it happened. and then now you complain how you " hate your life " you ruined it. dont blame it on the rest of the world. now you know why ?

you wonder why i want to go to LongBeach ?
" not to be what you want me too be. its to shove it in your face, that i can make it and you cant enjoy in my inrichment. got it ? "

i can go on and on about things you wonder about me. but whos the give the secerts away. not me. thats what makes life going. so live it, dont die in it. you say you wont help me anymore. fine well see how well that goes along.
peace easy.

oh and one more thing.
goodbye summer. & everything that happened.

Sincerly,
SaxxieTran.

did i have it ?

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...


-SaxxieOUT .[;

one night.

in ONE night you changed everything. honestly i thought that i would be the reason for it. but sadly you mistaken me wrong. you were the one that was different, the one i felt was better then the rest, the one that i could see being with, the one that was just the one. and you just proved me wrong. how could you ?! you may be saying that you shouldnt have ever done it or whatever but love me enough to stand up and tell me you did it. you are truly the only person that has ever made me this sad, this mad, this felling that ive never had for another person. you dont understand how bad you hurt ME. i know your hurt and you "need" me. but then why did you do it ? even if she did it first, you had the chance to not go, not sit near her, not even being that close, and to lie to me. just makes the whole thing much worse. plus to talk to her and flirt with her like it was nothing. its unbelieveable. you know NONE thought that you would do such a thing. but this proves to show all guys are the same in there own way. i trusted you with her, hanging out and all, but now i dont trust a word you say anymore. i do what i want to do and not what others say, my heart says no but my mind tells me yes. i dont want to go through something like this again. my heart cant take it. the first time it was your fault in believing other people so we got another chance at it. and now again its your fault again, and you WANT me to give you another chance. a third ?! you should have already learned not to screw up by the second one. i cant even face you. i dont know what to do. you really messed this up. and i dont think that anything can fix it. you can try, and ill listen. but i have no clue. well see if you get another one.

-SaxxieOUT .[;

.

“Love is a game in which one always cheats.”



-SaxxieOUT .[;

really ?

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.


-SaxxieOUT .[;

wtf ?!

does a promise not mean anything to people these days ?!

i mean you ask someone to do something and one person does it but the other doesnt. how could anything get done of everyone acted like that ?! i dont mean to be bitchy or anything, but still each day goes on and that promise goes further away. and its not my fault this time, its YOURS. your the dumbass that cant keep it. i just cant believe it.



-SaxxieOUT .[;

what now ?

always will there be the argument in whether to follow what you want to do or what your close friends think is the best for you. we all know that we must do what WE want and not what other people say you should do. but what if it turns out that they were right ? and something horrible happens ?

Torral: Lets hope nothing happens D:
Tarango : oohh that sucks just be careful ok
Bestie: just watch urself k bestiee?
Meksavanh: wow thats rough be careful
Lin: just be careful i dont want you getting hurt

not everything goes as plan. and when one thing changes, everything changes. change can be a scary thing or a good thing, we just need to let the change happen and see what it brings along with it. noone can really truly understand everything that goes on, nor will we, but we do our best to figure it out. yet everyone makes mistakes, but what if it was the mistake that changed everything. we have the right to make our own path, our own faith, but where is the fine line between the non-consideration of your friends and what you think is right ? it seems like everything is going well until you hear the other side of the story. but when the facts come in. ones stronger then the other and if you dont like the results change it if you have the guts.

"go with the flow ? " or " what ever floats your boat ? "
you pick.

-SaxxieOUT .[;

party !

Shannas house tomorrow for SWIMMING ! [;
i geet to see ANDY ! <3[;


-SaxxieOUT .[;

20 facts.

things to know about guys.

1. Guys don't go after good-looking girls, because looks...aren't everything to them.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. If a guy says he doesn't understand you, it means you're not thinking the way he is.
4. A guy can be flirting around all day but before he goes to sleep, he'll always think about the girl he truly cares about.
5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics because to him, you're perfect.
6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
7. Guys will do anything to get your attention.
8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
9. When you say "no", guys hear it as "try again tomorrow."
10. Sometimes you have to tell a guy what you really want before he truly understands.
11. A guy would sacrifice his lunch money just to get you a couple of roses.
12. A guy often thinks about and talks about the girl who likes him, but this doesn't mean he likes her back.
13. You won't ever completely understand him.
14. If a guy ever tells you he loves you more than once a day...he does.
15. Girls are indeed guys' weaknesses.
16. Guys are very open about themselves, they will tell you anything you want to know.
17. It's good to test a guy before you believe him, but don't ever make him wait too long.
18. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
19. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that pretty.
20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.


watch 100 facts about guys ! [;