Untitled.

Well here goes nothing; why is it that I cannot have the one thing that I most desire ? I mean let us have a recall.. I now have 2 "people" who think that like yeah and both are alike. Ohwells, it was their fault. But why is it so hard to let go ? I'm pretty sure right now that I don't even matter to you. It's okay I guess. While looking throught my old mail I happened to reread one and my golly was it frighting. Made me wonder whether or not anything was really real. Or was it just my imganation ? I'm glad what happened, happened but I just hoped for another outcome of it all. Right now I'm in maze in which there's no way out. Seems like I keep making the wrong turns and winding up at the same place I started from. Once I reach this gateway will this mind twister finally end ? So many questions and such little answers. Will my night and shining armor come and rescue me from this on going maze ? Or will I just keep making these wrong turns until I finally solve it for myself ?



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i have nothing else to say.

Why is it that even if I'm good, I still can't get what I want ?

Lets end this chaper once and for all.

Okay. So I finally got what I needed, it was as I expected all along. But I guess I didn't want to believe it until I actually heard it. LA, was right and so were all the others. Well there really isn't anything for me to do about it. I'm not at all that crazy about what happened, it's just a whatever moment. On the other hand, you deleted me ! Thanks a lot. I have no idea why ? If you do that mine as well delete my number too, so you won't have the need to call me late at night when I'm trying to sleep and have school the next day... ohwells. I really do understand that you will change, be better, and you need me. But I just don't want it, okay. Except the fact that "we" can't be again. And as for the "love of your life" your kidding me. I'm sorry I don't feel the same, but take the truth. I am honestly out of ideas, I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know what I should do now, or what I should be doing. Just leave me alone, so I can fix myself before I try and fix this again.


p.s. I won't be going. So have fun if you do.

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today's topic : loneliness.

Even with all the friends in the world, there's a time when you will always feel lonely. There will never be a time when you don't. We think that we can fill that empty space with friends, family, pets, and other stuff. But reality is we just can't. So I guess I have to face the fact that I'm going to be alone for a while, and I need to stop thinking about you and everything. Being alone isn't that bad but I think I can do it. Finally I must face my fear of being alone. Everyone does it, everyday maybe and I can't even go a few days ? This will help me to conquer what I've been trying to avoid all my breathing days. On another topic : you added me, and that was it. Nothing else ? Not even a hi or how you been ? Damn am I messed up. Or are you just messed up ? What I need is closure, but apparently I can't have that with you. All day long my mind is filled with memories, but at the same time it's blank. I don't have a "plan" this time guys. This is a whole new experience for me. Although, I have to keep thriving.